Aos 27 anos, ator Charlie Carver assume homossexualidade

Charlie Carver, que participou em séries como “Donas de Casa Desesperadas”, “Teen Wolf” e “The Leftovers”, assumiu a sua homossexualidade.

Numa mensagem publicada nas redes sociais, o ator, de 27 anos, falou abertamente sobre o assunto.

“Quando era uma criança, sabia que queria ser ator. Sabia que queria muitas coisas! Pensei que queria ser pintor, jogador de futebol… Mas agarrei-me ao sonho de representar. Descobri nessa idade que era diferente dos outros meninos da minha escola. Durante algum tempo, esse ‘saber’ cresceu e eu articulei uma gestação dolorosa, marcada por dor e alienação, terminando no clímax ao dizer três palavras em voz alta: ‘Eu sou gay’. Disse isto para mim primeiro, para saber como me sentia. A verdade dói e eu odiei-me por isso. Eu tinha 12 anos. Foi preciso algum tempo para que pudesse repetir isto para alguém, enquanto isso repetia a frase várias vezes, até que a minha boca se sentisse confortável e poder repeti-la à minha família. (…) Enquanto sair do armário é muito importante para mim, queria acreditar num mundo onde a sexualidade é irrelevante. Que isso não importa ou que, pelo menos, isso não precisasse ser anunciado para um estranho, para um novo colega, para um repórter. Até a frase ‘sair do armário’ incomoda-me, porque está implícito que isso vem com atenção e isso é algo que eu preferia que estivesse implícito em ser um ser humano, um atributo ou um adjetivo, que só faz parte de como eu me vejo. Não quero ser definido pela minha sexualidade. Claro, tenho orgulho de ser um homem gay, mas não quero ser identificado como um homem gay ou apenas gay. Identifico-me com várias coisas. Então agora, vamos deixar isto gravado: Eu identifico-me como gay”, pode ler-se.

 

 

Pt 1: “Be who you needed when you were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning. I’m not one for inspirational quotes, particularly ones attributed to “Mx Anonymous”- something mean in me rebukes the pithiness of proverbs, choosing to judge them as trite instead of possibly-generally-wise, resonant, or helpful. And in the case of the good ol’ Anonymous kind, I felt that there was something to be said for the missing context. Who wrote or said the damn words? Why? And to/for who in particular? Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason, finding itself likeable enough to join the ranks of the “favorites” album on my phone. I’d see it there almost daily, a small version of it next to my other “favorites”; I’d see it every time I checked into the gym, pulled up a picture of my insurance cards, my driver’s license…. Important Documents. And over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me. As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade. Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family…

A photo posted by Charlie Carver (@charliecarver) on Jan 11, 2016 at 2:14pm PST

 

Pt 3: After the first episode of television I shot went to air, it became clear to me that I was at least no longer anonymous. For the first time, I found myself stopped on the street, asked to take a picture by a complete stranger – part of the job I had willingly signed up for. Fame, to whatever degree, is a tricky creature. In this day and age, particularly with the access offered by social media, it demands that you be On, that you be Yourself, Always, in your work and to your fans. In this way, the distinction between public and private has become blurry, begging questions like “to what extent do I share myself? Do what extent do I have to?” When it came to this differentiation of public/private, I was of the opinion that my sexuality could stay off the table. While my Coming Out was very important for me, I wanted to believe in a world where one’s sexuality was for the most part irrelevant. That it didn’t “matter,” or that at least it was something that didn’t need to or ideally shouldn’t ever have to be announced to a stranger, a new colleague, an interviewer. Even the words “Coming Out” bothered me. I took issue with them insofar as that “Coming Out” implied being greeted with attention, attention for something I would prefer to be implicitly just Human, an attribute or adjective that was only part of how I saw my whole self. I did not want to be defined by my sexuality. Sure, I am a proud gay man, but I don’t identify as a Gay man, or a GAY man, or just gay. I identify as a lot of things, these various identifications and identities taking up equal space and making up an ever-fluid sense of Self. Furthermore, as an actor, I believed that my responsibility to the craft and the business was to remain benevolently neutral – I was a canvas, a chameleon, the next character. For the most part I had a duty to stay a Possibility in the eye of casting, directors, and the public. If I Came Out, I feared I would be limiting myself to a type, to a perception with limits that I was not professionally comfortable with. And I created in my imagination an Industry that was just as rigid in this belief as well.

A photo posted by Charlie Carver (@charliecarver) on Jan 11, 2016 at 2:18pm PST